Dear friends and neighbors,
I have the pleasure of interacting with many Ely-area residents through my work, with a special emphasis on getting to know people who are relatively new to the area, courtesy of the Hello Neighbor programs and services that I facilitate on behalf of Boundary Waters Connect.
Lately I've been noticing a theme. While Ely is an easy place to make many acquaintances, we are not exempt from the arduous, vulnerable work that is friendship building.
I say "arduous" and "vulnerable," not to be discouraging, but to be honest. Making friends takes time. Who among us feels they have an abundance of time to spare?? And so the time-on-task element of deepening a relationship with an acquaintance requires a certain kind of persistence and hope.
As for vulnerability, a necessary part of the process of building a friendship with someone new (according to Rachel Benjamin, LCSW) is to ask yourself what you want and need in a new friend. What does your ideal friendship look like? What do you want to give and receive in this relationship? What do you need from someone at this moment in life?
And so self awareness and being intentional is essential to progressing beyond acquaintance to friend: Identify an objective and be brave about achieving your goal.
Perhaps easier said than done, but please know you are not alone in the effort! Here is a link to a quick little NPR story on the topic of making friends after a move, featuring Melody Warnick. Followers of Boundary Waters Connect may recognize Melody as the author of This is Where You Belong: Finding Home Wherever You Are (oft referred to here).
I share this to help anyone who has ever felt lonely in Ely, perhaps in spite of a growing number of acquaintances, to understand that you can have what you are looking for here; I encourage you to persist!
It is said that you can't make old friends, but I very much disagree. You can!! But you have to start today. Start with an invitation to coffee or a walk around the Trezona Trail. Start with a text message asking someone how they are doing, or requesting a small favor from someone you think you'd like to know better.
If you'd like a boost of support on your journey to make new friends, mark your calendar for Tuesday, October 1 from 5:00pm to 7:00pm. I'll be hosting another New Resident Social event at the Ely Folk School, and this time around we'll have more intentional infrastructure through take the next steps to deepening friendships.
In the meantime, I invite you keep reading to learn about a selection of upcoming social opportunities in Ely. Perhaps I'll see you there,
Comments